The past few months have been some of the strangest of my life. Since August, I’ve known that so many things were about to happen, but they were just far enough out of reach that it didn’t feel like I could do anything about them yet.
Being on the edge of drastic change is such a strange feeling. I feel like I’ve been living in limbo for months and can’t help but live for the future rather than focus on the present.
Part of the changes are straight up scary, like the fact that I’ll probably be having knee surgery for a cartilage tear that hasn’t healed. If they’re able to repair it, I’ll be on crutches for 6 weeks while it heals. If they have to remove the damaged part, I’ll be good to go in a few days. The doctor won’t know until he actually gets in there. So, just in case, I just need to find a casual 6 weeks when I don’t have to do anything… In between moving, attending a conference in Texas, and other life things.
I also found out earlier in September that my 13 1/2 year old dog, Kya, had cancer that had already spread very quickly. Because of her age and the fact that she’d really been slowing down the past few years, I felt very strongly that I didn’t want to put her through anything traumatic that would make her feel bad. I wanted her last days on earth to be good ones and for us to say goodbye peacefully. She had even less time than we thought, and went downhill very quickly before the vet even had a chance to call us with her biopsy results. We said goodbye to her on Tuesday, September 27th. Although it was shocking and traumatic for me, I’m glad she did not suffer or ever have to deal with the slow downfall cancer can cause.
Losing Kya has been a huge life adjustment for me and has completely turned my world upside down. I miss her deeply and don’t really feel like myself without her by my side. It’s been nearly 3 weeks and I still cry every day, and I am not usually a crier.
The other part of it is good-scary, but very bittersweet considering the timing. If you missed my announcement on social media, WE BOUGHT A HOUSE.
I’ve been finding it very hard to be excited about it since losing Kya, especially considering I thought we would be moving there with her, but life is unpredictable like that I guess. I’m trying. I am excited; it’s just very mixed in with sadness and grief.
Buying a house is a crazy process that I really should’ve written all about, but so much else was going on and I was also afraid of jinxing it in case it fell through. (That happens a lot, apparently.) I wanted to pack, but then didn’t in case something went wrong. And I didn’t want to buy anything or change anything here in the meantime. I was truly living in limbo for weeks, not sure what was going to happen or what to prepare for.
We submitted our offer way back in August, but since we were in a lease we weren’t in a rush to close. Thankfully, neither were the sellers because they were also searching for another house after their first offer on another house fell through. We closed on October 11, but they needed to do a rent-back to close on their next house. We can officially start moving Tuesday night, although the seller thought they might be moved out by Sunday (yesterday).
A rent-back is pretty much the weirdest thing, by the way. The house is officially ours as of last Tuesday, but we can’t go in until they finish moving. Geoff summed it up perfectly: “It’s like when I’ve been thinking about buying something on Amazon, then finally do it—and then I have to wait for it to ship.”
Here’s to hoping it “ships” early.